i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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