These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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