im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
