i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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