Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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