When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
