just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
