Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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