nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
