just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we're making bets on your personal life
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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