i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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