the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
