Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
