I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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