SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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