I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
