and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
