I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
