I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
