i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
