# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the condom got lost in my hair
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
