would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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