Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
