Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
