Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
