Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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