Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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