I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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