so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
