just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's never too late to be topless.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
