One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
