Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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