can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
