Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
