Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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