Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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