his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
