I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
