I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just found a bag of teeth...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
