aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
