Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
