While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
