I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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