I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
