If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
