Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
