Someone shit on the floor
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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