My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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