I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
