i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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