Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
