I must be too annoying 4 u.
did you get engaged???
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
