My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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