I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
