Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
