I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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