Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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