No, drunk sperm still make babies.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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