My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
