It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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