If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
