An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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