Kiss
Puke
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
