i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize