white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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